You Really Got a Hold on Me

You Really Got a Hold on Me as sung by Zooey Deschanel = Awesome!!

I don't like you but I love you

Seems that I'm always thinking of you
Oh, you treat me badly
I love you madly
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
Said you really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)


I don't want you but I need you
Don't want to kiss you but I need to
Oh, you do me wrong, now
My love is strong, now
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
Said you really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)


I love you and all I want you to do is just
Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me


I want to leave you, don't want to stay here
I don't want to spend another day here
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you do me wrong, now
My love is strong, now
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
I said you really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)


I love you and all I want you to do is just
Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me


Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me
Hold me

Goodbye 2011

This year has been a big one.  Huge really.  I'm saying goodbye to one of the best years I've had in my 33 years.  I'm not saying bad stuff hasn't happened, because it has, especially recently, but it's a year that will forever be in my mind as one of the best.  Quite possibly the best.  Let us recap....

January wasn't that big a deal.  I started my last semester at Salt Lake Community College.

February really held no appeal.

March really wasn't exciting.

April was a little bit exciting.  I started working at my current site 5 days a week, I was working there only 3 days a week and working somewhere else the other 2.  This change was good and bad.  I am working what is quite possibly the worst shift I've ever had in my life, but I'm making enough that I was able to get out of the house my parents owned and become completely independent for the first time in my life.

May.  Now May was pretty darn exciting.  The first week in May I turned 33, finished my last semester at SLCC, and graduated from SLCC with my Associate of Art in English.  I'm a college graduate.  Sort of.  I still need to get my Bachelor's degree.  Oh, I just realized something, one of those months previous to this one I was accepted into Weber State University.  That was pretty cool.

June was fairly mild.  I went to Wendover for work.  That was pretty cool.  And pretty much right after I got back I started dating Shaun.  That was momentous for a couple of reasons.  1) I'd been chasing after him off and on for two years.  2)  I haven't really dated anyone for more than one date since I got divorced in 2001.  It was the end of a decade of being entirely single.

July.  This one is a little bit huge.  I bought my own house.  Yes, that's right, I BOUGHT MY OWN HOUSE!  It's small and old and all mine!!  It's cute.  I kind of love it.  :)

August saw me start at Weber State University.  I like going there more than I liked going to SLCC.  I LOVE that they don't take roll and that no part of my grade is dependent on attendance.  I feel all grown up!

September was pretty boring.  The only exception being that I was still dating Shaun.  Oh, Tony and Tina got married.  That was fun.  We also learned that night that Gracie's in Salt Lake is over priced and I swear they water down their booze.

October had the Halloween party at Tony's.  I don't remember much of it.  I suppose that means I had a pretty good time.  And I was kissed by Jack Skellington.  I'm the only one of my friends that I know of that can make that claim.

November.  Oy, November.  Of course we had Thanksgiving which was way toned down this year.  Before and after the holiday my dad had fun though.  Dad had a full shoulder replacement.  It got infected.  They went back in and removed the implant, scraped out the infection that had been eating away bone and ruined his rotator cuff, pumped him full of antibiotics and put a cement spacer in place until they go back in in a few months and put in a new, and better, implant.  If you thought that was fun we're not done yet......

December.  And I'm really happy that this one is nearly over.  About 9 days before Christmas I was at lunch with a couple of the ladies from book club.  While there my sister called.  Strange, she usually texts.  Shortly after that she did text me and told me that my dad was in the hospital again with a blood clot in his lung.  I hauled ass to the hospital and found out that they hadn't officially diagnosed him and couldn't until after x-rays and a CT scan.  I found out that he'd been having trouble breathing and my mom finally nagged him enough to get him to the ER.  Good thing, too, because he probably would have died otherwise.  And that would have devastated me.  After everything he was officially diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.  Which is a fancy way to say that he had a blood clot in his lung.  That was on a Friday.  The following Tuesday he was released from the hospital.  He's still on all kinds of blood thinners and antibiotics for everything but he's doing really well and improving almost daily.  We're all happy that he's doing well and that he's still around!  Christmas was good, and bad.  John's been in town and has been a great support to my dad since he got home.  John was able to spend more time at the hospital than the rest of us because we all had to work.  My family had to work around crazy work schedules so we didn't have our Christmas until the 26th.  It was mostly good.  We did have some family drama to deal with, the kind that I will not be posting details about since it is still very much and active subject.  Though I'm doing what I can to speed along a resolution.

And that is a brief account of my entire year.  I'm still seeing Shaun, which pleases me greatly, and I like my house more and more as time goes by.  The house has been the best purchase I've ever made.

I don't see any way possible for 2012 to beat the pants off of this year but I have to say.....   BRING IT ON!!

Dickhead

There have been a lot of instances of "stupid men" behavior going around lately.  I currently do not suffer from dealing with that behavior but relatives and friends have been.  In a show of sympathy to those women I give you "Dickhead" by Kate Nash.  It's pretty much awesome.  Even more awesome when you hear the song.  It's catchy!  :)

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations

Shiny floor, slippery feet
Lights are dim, my eyes can't meet
The reflection that turns my images
Upside down so I can't see

Think you know everything
You really don't know nothing
I wish that you were more intelligent
So you could see that what you are doing
Is so shitty, to me

Thirty five
People couldn't count
On two hands the amount of times you made me stop
Stop and think why are you being such a dickhead for

Stop being a dickhead,
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations
Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead,
Why you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations

Stop, now don't show
Just have a think before you
Will you, stop, now don't show
Just have a think before you

Will you stop, no don't show
Just have a think before you
Will you stop, don't show
Will you just have a think before you

My brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take with this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore, so

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why you being a dickhead for
You're just fucking up situations

SLCC Graduation

May 5, 2011 – Not just cinco de mayo anymore.

Let me preface this by saying that I’ve never had a graduation before, from anything, so this was a big effing deal for me. I invited my closest friends and family. I think I ended up inviting around 30 people. Big deal.

The afternoon started with food at Olive Garden. (I got my regular, fettuccini alfredo.) As is tradition in the Knighton clan it is the family and a few of our friends. Mom and Dad, Melanie, John, and Jared were present. It’s rare that all six of us are in the same place at the same time. I invited Amber, Roxanne, and Serena to the lunch. North Dakota is far away so Serena was unable to attend. We had a nice meal and were able to visit some. I had to leave early because I was recquired to arrive at by 5:45 to get ready for graduation.

While my family and friends were able to take their time finding parking and seats I was in the depths of the Maverik Center standing in a line waiting. And waiting. And waiting. It was really boring. I started to chat up a few of my fellow graduates. Mundane conversation really. It helped pass the time. I updated facebook and posted a picture of me standing in the hall waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

While in the hall Clint Gardner was taking Andrea Malouf over to see a student. I yelled at Andera, quite possibly my favorite instructor ever, and went over to say hello. She was genuinely pleased to see me and told me congratulations and that she was happy to see me there. We chatted a bit about the semester then she and Clint had to go back and line up with the faculty. She made a joke about being herded because they can’t keep the faculty in line. Awesome! We said our see you laters and they headed off to where they were needed.

Some back story:

I had taken two classes from Andrea. One was just pretty much a fun time, Intro to Creative Non-Fiction, and one was the most difficult class I’ve had, Intro to Critical Theory. She is an incredible teacher and is always willing to talk to you and work with you. She had to deal with me through schedule and site changes for work. And she did it with a smile on her face. She’s personable and funny and I wish all my instructors were as awesome as she.

Clint was a crush of mine back in the early days of my college career. I took Intro to Shakespeare from him and had a bit of a crush while taking that class. He was a good teacher and taught Shakespeare well. I have always remembered him, though I’m fairly certain he doesn’t remember me. He is also the advisor to the SLCC chapter of the Phi Theta Kappa, of which I am a member.

Back to Graduation:

Also while I was down in the pits of the center I received a picture message from Danielle and Erika. It was them in their seats smiling. They said they were excited and happy for me. Awesome!
After a little bit we started moving to head out and be seated. I was lucky enough to be toward the front of the procession. It wasn’t long until I was finally able to sit down.
As the instructors filed to their seats I was able to say another hello to Andrea. It was really good to see her.

The actual ceremony was pretty much as you would expect. Long and fairly boring. Morgan Spurlock of “Super Size Me” fame was our keynote speaker. He’s a pretty funny guy. Everything else was as expected for that kind of an event.
Finally it was time for the walk. My moment. I took my faux diploma and started walking across the stage. As I reached the top of the stairs to head back down to my seat they announced my name. I heard yells from way off in the distance, my friends and family, and much closer I hear clapping a few hollars. I looked to my left where they came from and there were Andrea and Clint clapping for all they were worth. For me. I don’t know what it is about that moment but it feel s good when your educators are as excited about your graduation as you are. I loved that moment.

I arrived back at my seat and realized that we had a long while to go before we would be finished with the event and able to unite with our friends and our families. Welcome to the graduation of tomorrow…. I pulled out my phone, turned it back on, and started texting my friends while I waited. I text Matt and Tony mostly. I was a bit surprised and really happy to find that Matt was able to make it down to support me.

The ceremony finished and we were all ushered out, pretty much straight outside, where we could see those we invited. As I walked to the front of the center I saw Matt, Suni, Brenda, Mikey, and Jodi standing there. I went and said hello and visited. They all hugged me and told me congratulations, cause they’re awesome. I fielded phone calls and we met up with Tony, Tina, Shaun, Carl and Jared. I had to go meet up with my family and take some pictures and Matt had to go home. (Stupid jobs keeping us from hanging out with our friends!) I made plans to meet up with the rest of my friends at Denny’s for food then headed inside for pictures.
Roxanne, her kids, Teri and Max had to leave before I could see them. Sad. Danielle and Erika also headed home before I was able to see them because they had work in the morning. (Again with the jobs!) Aside from them I was able to see everyone that was able to make it.

After the pictures with my family I said my goodbyes and headed to Denny’s. My friends are awesome! I love spending time with them! We visited for quite a while then everyone had to go their separate ways.
All in all it was a glorious day and I don’t think I ever want to do it again!

Thanks again to everyone that came to support me! Those that were unable to make it – you were missed.

I’m a college graduate!!!

Class Ring

This pic doesn't quite do the ring justice. Trust me when I tell you it's really pretty.

A Critique of Mental Manipulation

I think I'll love this book. My Personal Ethics instructor told me about it.

Bullshit!

As soon as I finish "On Bullshit" I'm going to read this. It's a collection of essays writen in response to "On Bullshit." I foresee awesomeness in my future!

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This is bullshit!

And the snow is getting worse by the minute!

I fail

Yeah, so, I'm discovering that I suck at writing. Well, at least I think I do. The short story I wrote for my Imaginative Writing class was total shite. Really. I'm not just saying that. I'm surrounded by all these brilliantly creative people and all I have to offer is a fluff piece about a girl that gets a flat tire on the way to her first date with her dream guy. Fluff. Really bad fluff.

And as of today we've moved on to poetry. 'Cause I'm soooooo good at writing poetry. Go search some of the original poetry I've posted here. It's crap. Total crap. Worse than fluff crap.

What the hell am I supposed to do now? I don't think I have it in me to inflict my bad poetry on the world.

I'm open to suggestions. (You can either leave them here on my actual blog or on the facebook comment thread.)

Mistakes, I've made a few....

Luckily I also regret few.

I've started writing this post several times now and can't say what I would like in a satisfactory manner. So I just won't write the whole damn thing down. Problem solved.

Here's the short version: I'm contemplating making a friend request on facebook. The person receiving the request would have accepted it immediately once upon a time. As happens in life we ceased being close years ago and he's actually ignored my friend request at least twice. I'm hopeful that this time may be different. I'd like to say that this will be my final attempt, but who knows how I'll feel in a year or five.

I need courage. I need wisdom. And most of all I need him to be receptive to a message from me. This request will not be blind. I intend to include a message. (If I can figure out how to write one without dredging up the past.) I need luck.

I need sleep. I promised myself that I'd be in bed by 2:00 this morning. Damn internets! This situation will keep until later. Maybe by the time I have time to send the request I'll know what I want to say. Maybe.

Ember Eyes

Eric and Em

New guy Ben on drums and Al

My buddy Suni. He's awesome kids!

Em Al and Suni kicking ass and taking names!

The T-shirt

I am not a fan of orange but I do love my Cake. So, the color is worth it. CAKE!

Autographed Case

Today is a good day!

I GOT MY NEW CAKE ALBUM! And it's autographed. :)

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Homework? Already? Fine.

Just doing my first bit of homework for the semester. I actually rather like the little bit that I just wrote in response to this "self-audit" question: What is your first memory of writing? How did you like it? Who did you show it to? What did he/she/they say? Write this up as a scene.

I didn't answer all of the questions, and this is by no stretch of the imagination excellent in quality, but I think it's cute and I like it. I also think it's about time to get back to putting things on the blog besides song lyrics and pictures. :)

Stephanie is 7 years old and tall for her age. She has long blond hair and can usually be seen smiling and in good humor. She's currently sitting at the little school table with her neighbor and classmate, Jason. Jason is a cute blond haired, blue eyed boy that Stephanie has known for as long as she can remember.

They are hunched over some paper that has lines across the bottom. Jason is drawing pictures with pencils and crayons on the main part of the pages, and Stephanie is writing the story on the lines at the bottom. It's a short story, as you would expect from 2nd graders, about feet and shoe size.

Later in life Stephanie will lose track of the "book", and forget most of the story, but she will always remember writing the "book" with illustrations drawn by Jason. In fact, it will be one of the fondest memories she has of elementary school.

Journey!

My Xanne sent this to me earlier cause she's AWESOME!!

New Year's Eve Success

On the couch, again. Outlasted everyone party-wise. It's what I do.
All I ask on a night like tonight is to be able to have a good time with good friends. Tonight was a success.

Happy New year everyone! I hope you are all blessed in 2011!